Log in

No account? Create an account
when your heart went offbeat. [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | i shot him lightly, and he died politely. ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

one meatball [09 Dec 2006|03:00pm]
[ mood | papertired ]

this lj is so old my password is a bright eyes reference!
i'm so procrastinating i'm going to do this! take that!

Opening Credits:
maybe you can owe me - architecture in helsinki
how sweet! buildup

Waking Up:
it's a crime - black heart procession

First Day At School:
saludsod ni ading - salidummay
oops all my tagalog songs haha. it's a peasant revolt song with bamboo instruments...

Falling in Love:
child's christmas in wales - john cale

Fight Song:
the world is showing its hand - jonathan richman

Breaking Up:
lola - the raincoats
maybe if i broke up to be with a transvestite?

dreaming - yo la tengo
so good!

orgiastic - stereolab

Mental Breakdown:
casimir pulaski day - sufjan

public service announcement (interlude) jay-z hmmm try again...

dios - you got me all wrong

grand canyon - the magnetic fields

Birth of Child:
sister ray - velvet underground

Final Battle:
if you could read my mind - gordon lightfoot

Death Scene:
tundra/desert - modest mouse

Funeral Song:
god's away on business - tom waits

End Credit:
roy walker - belle and sebastian
third uncle - brian eno

weirddddddd fun! only about 20 more pages to go, a week and i'll be done! woohoo!
i'm a good student now, by the way.

1 comment|post comment

but hello, i've got a new partner now. [06 Apr 2006|08:08pm]
and you are always on my mind

sometimes when i hear a song, i think about how it speaks of my life and how it almost feels as though it's been a part of my life, unheard but there. okay friends, what's new? what's new, livejournal? i keep this other blog online to write non-cryptic things but what's there to hide? not a thing.

i didn't get drunk last weekend! wowza! gee wilikers! i can't spell will-a-kers!

the other day i discovered how good of a studying environment the library is. i'll try and utilize it more. i finally picked a topic for my 20th c. art class: allen kaprow and his assemblages, environments and happenings. yesterday maureen and i got pissed off at our photojournalism professor and decided to get happy and go to the mfa. we saw the david hockney exhibit - fantastic. we came home and drew portraits of one another. i also took out my little viola again - siv's jazz conductor needs a viola for a quartet so i'll be onstage again. it's been a long time. shouldn't of left you.

i think i'm spending the weekend in amherst again. that's two in a row - then montreal next weekend!
school is over in about a month but i changed my ticket back home to the end of may. this summer is all up in the air, but i like it that way. it makes me feel like i'm on the brink of something again, just like at the end of high school. i was really hyper on wednesday and got all hot and bothered thinking about studying abroad, traveling, climbing mountains and so forth. just think! today when i was leaving work i thought about how good i felt, how it wasn't a job i didn't enjoy and how lucky i am to have it. oh, i might be taking a class at harvard next semester. okay.

what's all this noise about annie & shaun? happyhappyhappytimes. grownup times. cold blooded old times.
post comment

don't talk [08 Feb 2006|06:50pm]
the web is spun for you with invisible threads

dear livejournal,

i received a nudge, i guess something like a poke. my life has changed entirely. i am addicted to the internet again.

my gall bladder pains me. it's something, alright. i get an abdominal ultrasound tomorrow. in the meantime, i am milking this for all it's worth - pity me, please. pet my head.

i am currently unemployed, but soon to be re-employed. i can't wait for things to get better.

love, sarah.
7 comments|post comment

a summer wasting [01 Jun 2005|11:49pm]
mint floss, limeade, steak, i wish steak sauce, asparagus, tomato, baked potato, sour cream, butter, salt, caesar salad, chocolate chip cookie, chocolate biscotti, coffee, hazelnut coffee, more coffee, caramel royale, scrambled eggs, vienna sausage, water.

i just typed out what i ate today because i am trying to escape the idea that tonight was my last evening with mike for three months.

that pair of blue eyes gets me every time.

i don't care what you think, i'm a fucking sucker, i admit it.

i curse too much.

i've been home a little over two weeks, and i haven't seen anyone really. lauren, annie, fernando, viktor, robert, that party at julianne's where i saw a few people briefly, sandra, michelle. all of these encounters have only been once or twice at most. i have spent most of my days at work, most of my nights at home, one night seeing front runner, another night seeing a couple other bands and seeing front runner again, geez louise and another night seeing the impossible shapes and this fucking sweet band seawall. another night i came home at 5.12am and i only managed not to fall asleep by driving really fast with the windows down.

you know, i love the texas sky. even when it's above dirty denton parking lots.

i've read the bell jar, the old man and the sea, a bunch of short stories and have started a confederacy of dunces. any pressing suggestions?
i've seen etre et avoir (to be and to have) a french documentary about country schoolchildren and am determined to own it soon and watch it repeatedly. a little boy named jojo refuses to color le poisson! i've also seen girlhood, a documentary about two young girl delinquints and what happens to them over the course of three years. also, crash. all good.

that's about it, folks. today i made 18.75 in tips and. whatever.
i don't care.
i do think that melissa is the most amazing pen pal!
ok bye.
12 comments|post comment

the order of the goodtime [14 May 2005|09:15am]
argue argue argue.

so females and fellas - i have approximately three and a half days left in boston. where did this year go? since exams ended a couple days ago, i have simply been kickin it. wearing skirts and feelin fine. melissa left, and that was weird. took a walk and a nap in the sun at my favorite spot in the public garden, sippin on a guava jarritos. i like this sort of summer, where you have to wear a little jacket at night and can leave the g's out of verbs because who cares? it's summmmertimeee. i'm looking at the weather forecast for texas...86? what the hell.

take note: you are attending of montreal at rubber gloves on june 9th. rob's birthday, i think. i want to buy tickets beforehand, and i want everyone to be there. i don't care if you haven't heard them, i determined it was the best concert post-morrissey of the year after being disappointed by stereo total last night (despite their high cute factor. : { [ my sad face has a mustache. can you tell i'm not awake?)

yesterday while sitting outside the mfa, i called cafe de france to see if they would remember me. neil, the boss, didn't. he kept thinking i was "sarah carton." at any rate, he said he thought he remembered me, so to come in when i come home and talk to him and they'll get me on the schedule. this mean they must be as desperate as i suspected, and i will be slaving away again. i don't care if they use me now, because i'm using them for their fast and easy money. plus, they're within biking distance of the new house. well, sweaty texas summer biking distance. why is it that with every passing season, i forget completely what the next one is like?

quick assessment of first year of college:
i came in not knowing what to expect. fell in love with boston, fell in love with a boy, met a number of good people, experienced my first stupid things (debauchery and tattooery), did mediocre in classes but have discovered something other than just simply the default english. i want to go through and come out of college with the simple goal of helping/saving the world. helping and saving myself. god, i just love it here. next year is going to be pretty sweet.

(i want to curse less, sail the seven seas, read a lot this summer, visit the seven continents, read on hinduism, etc etc

i can't believe i have to go back home for this long. it's like i'm regressing, going back in time-living with my parents again, being without car, working the same job i had when i was 16.

GEEZ what am i doing here? i've got things to do! see you soon - i come home at 6.23pm on monday the 16th of may. get. ready.
5 comments|post comment

i was the jerk who preferred the sea, or paragon of vanity. [08 May 2005|06:02pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
that might have been better if melissa's hair had not streaked across the sky.

had a two day vacation in montreal with my two lovely ladies.
now the skies are grey as i'm studying bioarchaeology terminology and french episodes.
i really loved canada.
i really loved the pie.

mike and i are going out for dinner tonight, but i don't think i can stand another trashy allston party. ever.

while on the bus ride up, i had to sit by a stranger on a crowded bus at midnight. it ended up being a three hour conversation with a classy, silver british professor who explained the conflicts in the european union and the british economy to me, as well as stories of his travels across the sahara.

i've been re-evaluating my degree plan lately, mostly as a result of realizing that i don't feel like anything will come out of me majoring in english. i love literature, but how will it help me save the world? so here's the new plan: major in anthropology, minor in art history and women's studies. i feel confident in this, but of course won't officially declare until after i've taken the intro anthro and art history courses. i called my parents in the middle of the night to share my epiphany with them, and they were not amused initially but oh well.

i'm excited to come home. i need sun, tortillas, friends.
6 comments|post comment

the anti-pleasure dissertation, or years of social upheaval [19 Apr 2005|08:09pm]

cool, huh?

computer science 101 BORING
art history 111ancient to medieval
french 211 third semester
humanities 221 major authors
ballroom dancing SALSA

today was gorgeous so i wore a dress and went an sat in the sun. when i came inside, while standing in the sandwich line i felt someone caress my back (where my tat is). i turned around to a boy, smiling self assuredly. he asked me if i was from texas. i curtly said yes and turned around. i am so angry at myself right now for not slapping him or yelling or something. what kind of feminist am i? i just stood there, shocked that just becos i happen to be wearing less clothes than usual, a boy would assume that means i'm asking for him to touch me. NO.

avoiding my site analysis, women's studies final paper on riot grrls and final paper on ibsen. prof van anglen said my thoughts were poorly phrased and unclear. mostly becos i am unclear.

the return home will be bittersweet, darlings. i'm going to miss mike a lot.

third day of empowerment. hundreds to go.

today alec sent me a package from his trip to shanghai. inside, a watch with the image of mao saluting the masses. his arm moves with the seconds. it is amazing.

one two three four get your booty on the floor. gonna gonna get up get down. gonna gonna get up get down.
6 comments|post comment

the quintessence of me [12 Apr 2005|11:49pm]
[ mood | post-anxiety, pre-dormant ]

hello fellows.

i have spent the evening pulling my hair out, falling into a deep pit of ibsen and criticism of ibsen by choice. jesus, who knew so much could be said of a man with such sideburns? on the t today was a boy who i've seen around campus who must wish he was ibsen. his cheeks are full of hair. it is quite impressive. i want to be his friend.

my weekend in middletown, connecticut visiting john w. h. mahone was kind of a harsh realization that if i'd done better in high school i too could be running around nakie with the best of them. be full of ideals that if things like compost buckets in each hall can work in college, then recycling can hit the big time in the real world, as well. i thought that my life here in boston was a bubble. geeeez louiseeee. got to see boring noise bands, and hella. boring. but i loved every moment of it, despite john thinking i was being, and i quote, "a stand-offish bitch." wutev. oh pbr. i luv john, carmen and othello, too.

these last few weeks are full of more work than i'd imagined, but tis ok. i'm on top of things despite what is ahead of me. this weekend is a three day one, thanks to patriots' day. i will not be spending it in a cheap nyc hotel room or on a cold tile floor but rather reading, learning, sleeping etc.

most of my anxiety is definitely due to money issues. i forgot about the fafsa. oops. also i recently looked at my bank account to discover dvd station in san francisco, ca took out 41.50 from my account. i think this is the dvd vending machine at the bookstore here which i use sometimes to get dvds easily. those bastards. i have yet to raise hell, nor do i know quite how to.

i hate to admit it, but i miss texas. the weather is warming up, but i miss thunderstorms. i miss tortillas. i miss you. i'll be back 5.16.5.

there's a sort of beauty in repetition.

ps last week we confirmed our room for next year. melissa 'goldie' vargas, maureen newman, corrine jones and myself in 925 myles standish hall on kenmore square. a sweet suite of two singles and a double of me and maureen that will hopefully contain a garden by the window, couch, organ, sewing machine, bunk bed, texas tribute, love, etc etc etc. good location, good view, two texans, how could it go wrong? i'm excited.

bon soir, la lune.

4 comments|post comment

yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss [06 Apr 2005|05:53pm]


awesome. she wants us to go. i hope a goth kid isn't cyring somewhere, or whoever listens to them.

today is a good day. it is sunny and warm and we ran laps, lifted weights, used the elliptical machines etc etc etc at the new building. it is very snazzy and now i want to learn how to play raquetball and squash. the courts are so nice.

in other news:

-sin city was totally badass. i'm slightly biased becos i read miller's graphic novels as i was growing up, but still awesome.
-i'm looking into internships in downtown dallas for the summer, preferably an archiving one at the sixth floor museum
-i keep getting a's on my english papers
-living in myles standish next year, a renovated hotel on kenmore square with a few friends. we're hoping for a sweet suite, but it will be sweeeeet any way you look at it
-i've decided i'm not only majoring in english, but art history too resulting in
-probable study abroad internship in london, sydney, dublin or auckland (new zealand) probably london

i also recommend 'feminism is for everybody' by bell hooks.
i think i should get a tat of the feminine symbol. you know the one. perhaps around my belly button. hah!
3 comments|post comment

[29 Mar 2005|02:35pm]

i got into a funk last night so i chopped off my hair to feel better. the intention was to go an inch longer, but the scissors were in the hands of my dear melissa, post diet pepsi & rum. it's all good.
7 comments|post comment

sub-zero wolf viking, or the longest saturday ever. [16 Mar 2005|08:34am]
spring break ended up being filled with adventure, mishappenings and lots of love.

-bought bus tickets for the wrong time by accident
-fixed it and waited around till 1 am

waited in line, only to find out from the unfeeling bus driver that we had to have our birth certificates or passports. NO ONE TOLD US THIS, in fact they told us the opposite, that no one ever checked.

on tv nation, michael moore totally did a thing about how easy it was to get across the canadian border. even in a moose suit! yet, mike and i were in a dilemma.

(we can try again within 180 days, so fear not! we will get to montreal soon.)

so in the wee hours of the morning, we decided to head out to nyc at 7am. i feel like it was fate, becos saturday, march 5th was his grandfather's 86th birthday. we wandered around town, had coffee and ate at the cherokee diner, then went out to queens for the party. although we got confused on the long island rr, i think his grandpa was pleasantly surprised and it made for a nice night.

the next day we headed back to the city and i finally got to see the guggenheim. amazing. we, of course, got confused on its location but we took the walk through central park and it turned out the gates were still up. they aren't that impressive, but nice for the city. i had my first ny hot dog and my second. the last couple times i was in town i was still flirting with vegetarianism...so! they were delish.

ate at another diner, had more coffee, realized we were gonna be broke by morning so decided to get back to boston asap.

spent a couple days unwinding back home, watching 'seven' and 'son of sam' and eating falafel and drinking coffee before i flew out to philadelphia on wednesday. highlights:

-preston is beautiful, three new teeth and now smiles and laughs
-natalie and i got to dance around
-natural history museum
-the dali exhibit at the philadelphia museum of art, amazing
-i cooked my first filipino meal!

much more. i have to go to archaeology now, unfortunately. there are pictures of my spring break at my website" as per usual. i hope all is well with you. this week is going to be ridicuslously hectic, with my research paper due and my mom and sister coming in on wednesday. woo boy.
2 comments|post comment

name-dropping, or 'poon-tang...what does that mean again?' [28 Feb 2005|12:43pm]
the mendacity, the audacity.

if i were to evaluate my diet these days, it would be approximately:

75% lettuce (romaine, iceberg, mixed)
5% pasta
5% tomatoes, artichoke hearts, tofu and other salad toppings
4% potatoes
4% beef products
3% bread
3% ice cream and cookies
1% feta cheese

awesome. i'm a rabbit, who also indulges in cow sometimes. i've eaten more beef in the past week than i have in months, though.

this doesn't matter really.

how are you?

this past month has been ultra busy. mega ultra. super duper. gary cooper.

i wrote an outline of my paper for tragedy and the tragic on the relation between aristotle's poetics and cat on a hot tin roof between the hours of ten and eleven am today.

now i have to write an outline for my paper on the de-evolution of the riot grrrl. from bikini kill to peaches. too bad i'm not objective on this. i just like it all. objectification and exaggeration.

next weekend is the beginning of spring break. the first part will be spent in montreal with my babycakes. i've never been to canada. the second part will be in philadelphia with my baby cousins and aunt. i look forward to their chubby cheeks and the dali exhibit.

oh, i declared finally. english major, art history minor. mostly becos i've gotten a's on my english papers so far this semester and i've spent multiple days at the mfa. i gave up on the women's studies minor since the professor is a broken record, making me a parrot of the feminist ideals of thirty years ago.

every time a blast of icy wind hits me, i think of those sweltering summers back home, the feeling that you're in an oven, and how i would open up the fridge to escape it, sometimes. thanks, texas.

i was waiting on a train at kenmore yesterday morning and realized that i was someplace i never thought i would be. boston seemed so abstract and dangerous a year ago, now i walk the streets (not like a prostitute) but like someone who knows where they're going.

(or at least someone who looks like they know where they're going...)


4 comments|post comment

waiting on my angel food cake (with pink frosting) [31 Jan 2005|11:48am]
so i turned nineteen. last year of my teens? i feel like i should be much older, this past year lasted a long time.

most of my birthday weekend was spent with mike and melissa. good.

all of my actual birthday was spent at the museum of fine arts. very good.

birthday food included sushi, classy museum cafe food and anna's taqueria. very very good.

also, lots of snow.

more pictures at frail eel, as per usual.

off to ballet!
7 comments|post comment

your signal's failed BUT I KNOW YOU'RE CONTAGIOUS [21 Jan 2005|12:09am]
[ mood | lethargic ]

i think i just heard a squeak. like a mouse squeak. it was loud enough to be close, but maybe i'm just paranoid.

tonight the snow was fake snow beautiful. it was sparkling as if it was mingled with glitter. the cold wasn't bad and i stomped along the streets in my huge shoes. i insist on roaring and acting like a snow monster in this. it's gorgeous. dear god. i love it here.

i've been a little down since i've been back, but today has been a good pick me up.

i thought i was going to die for ten minutes due to a nuclear bomb scare/hoax at the radio station. then i just danced and laughed with stephen anyway.

my bookshelf is full of thick books containing the words: "WOMEN," "FEMINIST FRONTIERS," "A FEMINIST PERSPECTIVE." FOUR GREAT TRAGEDIES," ETC. i still have five more books to purchase. i'm excited.

ballet was perfect. things are wonderful. i'm going to look into some community service things i could do this semester now...preferably something women-related so i can do a video on it or something for my final project instead of a paper. blahblahblah

1 comment|post comment

aesthetics v. quality (aesthetics = quality?) [23 Dec 2004|11:52am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

i'm coming back home. exams are over, finally.

my flight gets in tonight, and i won't start school again till the 18th of january.

i'd like to see people who'd like to see me. holler.

ps i hate the internet again.

3 comments|post comment

please keep me in mind [10 Dec 2004|10:48pm]
[ mood | lazy & sleepy ]

i'm working on the music for my audition show this weekend. hopefully i'll get to co-dj a show with my good friend, stephen. right now it's looking like this:

what they found - the octopus project(soft stuff for backgrond to talking)
green arrow - yo la tengo (more soft)

well i wonder - the smiths
everything hits at once - spoon (i'm addicted to this album right now)
you're black and blue - the exploding hearts
watching the detectives - elvis costello
almost crimes - broken social scene
inca rag/name game - the fiery furnaces
sleepy head - beat happening
your magic is working - of montreal

without the background songs it's exactly 30 minutes...which is how long the show is supposed to be, so i think i need to omit one song. but which one?! help! there's supposed to be a flow to it all, unifying theme or something. i think they all sound pretty good together. rockrockrock.


last night i went to see this surf rock band with mike, the los straitjackets. it was at the paradise, which is this club on the same block as my dorm. i wasn't really looking forward to it, since i'd never listened to them before but it ended up being lots of fun. classy burlesque girls and old men in silly masks playing classic christmas tunes surf rock-style. we slow danced and fast danced, of course.

i am still writing my poetry paper. i still hate it and can't get myself to do it, but i will! tomorrow!

this weekend i think i am going ice skating in the common.

my web group did this website for our final hw assignment. i think it's pretty awesome.

this was the computer part of my final.

not as fun as the lovin cacti, but still pretty cool, hm?

love, sarah.

3 comments|post comment

let me get my hands on your mammary glands! [08 Dec 2004|11:01pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

i'm enjoying falling in love with morrissey again.

today brendan came over and we hid away from the rainy afternoon by watching my simpsons dvds: the monorail episode.

'we could change your name to homer junior. we can call you hoju.'


there's a beauty in knowing that you have an orderly drawer full of clean underwear and socks.
oh yeah, i still haven't written my paper. shush.

oh, you handsome devil...there's more to life than what you know, but not much more

i still wake up and can't believe that i'm with someone that i'm honestly happy with. really happy with. he's thrown me off and made me reconsider things that i'd decided were fact, but all in a good way. he still makes me light-headed and giggly. it's ridiculous, really.

it all goes back to those lines in 'the shipping news.' you know the ones.

so like candy!

2 comments|post comment

le garçon au grand coeur [06 Dec 2004|09:34pm]
[ mood | worrying ]

it's now at the point where my cheeks turn rosy becos of the cold wind.

i'm writing this instead of writing my paper.
i've been complaining a lot about the lack of flow in writing it.
when really, my problems are so insignificant.
my problems not even being worthy of the title 'problems'.

so i listen to mariah carey's heartbreaker some more
debate on how much longer i can hold out before having to do laundry

(i don't leave my dirty laundry out for you to see anymore)

last night i went to my first psychobilly show
th' legendary shack shakers
i had to worry about being hit with pubic hair and spit
much like har mar superstar
oh knickerbockers!

on friday i saw closer
i'd seen the play performed in nyc a couple months back
it still made me hate people
and natalie portman's booty is distracting

tonight mike and i talked about traveling
i want to do a coast-to-coast tour
so that later we can say 'remember that time in nevada?'
'...that one time in miami...'
the wilds of canada! the iberian peninsula!
life's too short to stay in one place.

and that's what i've been thinking of lately. i hope you're all well. i'll see you soon.

EDIT FOR FUNNY STORY: the other day i was waiting on the t with melissa and mike.
an suv full of partyin boys drive by and one says, 'hey baby!'
i turn to mike and say, 'he was talking to me, wasn't he?'
and he says, 'oh yeah, totally.' and laughs becos
i was wearing my green hat with a pom pom on top.
i'm still hot in nerd wear right?

anyway, it got lost on the t.
so i need to buy a hat with two pom poms to make up for it.

my poor ego!

2 comments|post comment

nanny nanny boo boo [03 Dec 2004|10:46pm]
if you ask us how we want it, we'll say 'man to man'

i'm avoiding writing my paper. the topic is

poems...what are they good for?

a little ridiculous, but that's the theme of the class in more ways than one.

now let's synchronize our movements till we're super sick

ok this was just a waste of time.

but i miss these things today:

and now i have a visitor. OUT
4 comments|post comment

that's ancient history, the blade went through but missed the bone. [23 Nov 2004|09:39am]
[ mood | sticky ]

oh my.

i've been set on nervous for the past 24 hours it seems. i drink a lot of coffee now, too.

woke up in time for registration yesterday resulting in the most glorious schedule:

women's studies (i got the LAST spot)

worked on szymborska paper...i feel really good about this one. the other night the sentences just came pouring out onto the paper, it was beautiful to experience. if any of you are looking for something new to read, she's an amazing poet.

worked on flash hw and i must say i feel completely lost in that class. it drives me crazy becos i know that if i had a better professor this stuff would be so useful. gah. finished it but not really and apparently we're going back over it today. i hope so.

woke up early to register for the english class that i want to take next semester, the first step towards being an english major. this is is still not definite, but probable. seduction and betrayal, my first choice, turned out as only offered first semester. :( i didn't think i'd have any trouble getting the class i wanted and heard some good things about a certain professor. i showed up to stand in line thirty minutes early and there were people out the door! i'm not good at situations like that and stressed myself out. i managed to get the the second to last spot in tragedy and the tragic. hooray!

next semester is set. the best part about my classes is that on fridays i only have my french class from 3-4pm. mondays i only go from 2-4. mmhm.

i leave for home in under 48 hours. i still can't believe how much everything is working out for me. knock on wood

i love you.

3 comments|post comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]